


We are the future

by drijzermansrs



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:48:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drijzermansrs/pseuds/drijzermansrs
Summary: Sander (19) and Robbe (18) have been dating for over a year. They go to the same school. Sander is in his senior year and he gets into his dream university, which also means moving to London. But are they ready for long distance relationship?
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans, Senne De Smet/Zoë Loockx
Comments: 29
Kudos: 69





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this was supposed to be a social media au at first, but then I decided to make it into a fic. It's my first fic, so please be aware of that and bear with me. If you notice any mistakes, please tell me. English isn't my first language, so there probably will be some.

A little backstory:

Sander and Robbe have been dating for over a year now and they've been living together for a few months. 

They go to the same school, Sander is graduating this year.

Robbe's ex friends Moyo, Jens and Aaron distanced from Robbe after he came out and started dating Sander.

Sander has bipolar disorder and Robbe and his friends know about it.

Robbe is now friends with Yasmina and Zoë.

Zoë is dating Senne.


	2. Can't hold it in anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of homophobia and suicide, so please read carefully.

Robbe was sitting on the grass in front of their school, waiting for Sander to come from his lesson so they can go home together.

They always waited for each other because they couldn’t get enough of the other one, even though they literally lived together.

He still had another 10 minutes or so of the wait, when he saw Jens, Moyo and Aaron laughing and coming to sit on the grass too, but not to him.

After he came out to them and told them about his and Sander’s relationship, they didn’t take it very well. Well, they didn’t take it at all.

The boys made a big scene, saying that he’s just going through some phase, but that they won’t let him ruin their videos with that.

So he had to choose between Sander and the boys, it was ridiculous, but obviously he chose Sander, _he would always choose Sander._

He got lost in staring at the boys, all the memories with them coming back in his mind.

A voice he knew very well pulled him out of his thoughts, „earth to Robbe“ he said and Robbe jumped a little.

„I’m sorry, got lost in my thoughts“ Robbe said.

„Yeah, I can see…you still miss them?“ Sander said and came closer to Robbe, wanting to hug him.

Sander knew everything, he knew how important the boys were to Robbe, even though he didn’t understand why. They were always acting like assholes to him and they didn’t deserve Robbe, but he was trying to be there for him, because he knew that Robbe was hurt, even though he never showed it in front of him.

They had started dating a year and 3 months ago and they clicked immediately. Sander was still recovering from his last relationship that didn’t end very well and he didn’t want another yet, but when he saw Robbe for the first time, he felt something he’s never felt before and knew that he’s the one. They had a lot of downs and went through some hard times, but they managed to get through it all together and came out stronger than they were before and Sander was so happy to have Robbe in his life.

„Kinda, yes. We’ve been friends since kindengarden you know…it’s hard and I can’t stop thinking about this all possibly being my fault and I just…..“ _can’t hold it in anymore_ he wanted to say, but also he didn’t want to look like a crybaby in front of his boyfriend.

Sander came closer and hugged him, „I told you so many times already that it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, you know that right?“ Robbe nodded, but pulled Sander closer, not wanting to let go of him.

„Shall we go home?“ Sander asked and stepped back a little to look at Robbe.

Robbe looked at him with his beautiful brown eyes and nodded, so they went home, hand in hand. 

\--------

When they came home, they ate and Sander helped Robbe with his homework. They agreed that they were gonna do a movie marathon for the rest of their afternoon, to make Robbe feel better.

They were watching Romeo and Juliet now but the sound of Robbe‘ phone disturbed them.

_Yasmina: Robbe you want to go shopping with us?_

_Robbe: sorry, i’m with Sander_

_Zoe: come on, you’re together every day!_

_Yasmina: you literally live together_

_Robbe: but we’re having a movie marathon!_ _☹_

_Zoe: omg cute_

_I want relationship like that :(((_

_Yasmina: you’re literally dating Senne, shut up_

_Robbe: have fun shopping skjddkd_

Robbe was smiling so much, he was grateful for his new friends, even though he still missed the old ones. But he felt much better with Yasmina and Zoe, they made him feel safe and didn’t judge him for anything.

„Who is texting you that you’re smiling so much? Should i be worried that i have competition?“ Sander chuckled, Robbe just now realized that he stopped the movie and was looking at him.

„I don’t know, do you?“ Robbe teased him and Sander smiled at him, „it’s the girls, they asked me to go shopping with them, but i told them that i have much better plans for tonight“.

Sander leaned up and kissed Robbe and Robbe smiled for himself when he felt his tongue slip into his mouth, „I wonder what plans do you have then…“ Sander teased him and leaned up for another kiss, but Robbe pulled away.

„To finish this movie, obviously“ he started laughing when he saw Sander looking at him annoyed, but then he smirked, sat up and pressed ‚play‘ on the laptop again.

-

The next morning Robbe wake up to the sound of his alarm, showing that it was time to go to school.

He was really tired, Sander had nightmares again the whole night, so he tried to be there for him as much as he could, just holding him close.

He had a lot of nightmares lately, but Robbe couldn’t blame him. It was soon gonna be a year since Sander’s dad left him and his mom, because they were „too much to handle“ and later they also found out that he’s already started a new family with his mom’s ex best friend.

When Sander found out, he went after his dad, because he was so angry at him. But his dad probably expected him to come, because he already prepared a lesson about how it was all Sander’s fault, that he’s the one who always was a problem, that he and his mom always had to také care of him and never had time for each other.

They weren’t dating for a long time at that point, so it was very hard for Robbe to explain to Sander that none of that was his fault, that it all was his dad’s fault. Even his mother tried, but it took some time for Sander to believe them.

That was also when his bipolar disorder got even worse than it was before, he sometimes didn’t take his medication because he still blamed himself for everything and was trying to punish himself like that.

Robbe had spent a lot of time at his house at that point, trying to make him feel better, taking care of him, listening, being quiet, listening to Bowie, watching movies, whatever Sander needed and it eventually got better.

But sometimes he still doesn’t feel good about the whole situation and he also has a lot of nightmares. Robbe is always trying to be there for him, but sometimes Sander needs more space and to be alone.

He always comes back stronger though, and Robbe wouldn’t trade their relationship for anything.

He got up from the bed carefully, trying not to wake Sander up. He just wanted to let him sleep, that was what he needed the most right now.

But Sander shifted, „sorry i wake you up at night. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this, you don’t deserve it“, he said.

Robbe sat down on the bed and stroked Sander’s cheek, „don’t apologize, I love you okay? And i’m always gonna be here for you, anything you need“ and Sander smilled a bit.

„Should i stay home with you today?“ Robbe asked. Sander shook his head, „no, you go to school, you would just sit here all day like always“ Robbe nodded, kissed Sander and went to prepare for school.

-

He was having lunch with Yasmina and Zoe, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about Sander.

Things like this happened a lot and he knew how to act and deal with it, but this time it was different, because the anniversary of Sander’s dad leaving was gonna be soon, he knew that deep down Sander missed him, it was his father after all and he also knew how important this was for him.

He sent him so many texts already, but they remained unanswered:

_I just arrived at school, get some sleep, can’t wait to be back in your arms, love you <3 _

_Are you feeling better? Did you take your medication?_

_Okay i know you’re probably sleeping, but I can’t stop thinking about you <3 _

_I’ll be home soon and we can cuddle okay? <3 _

_I love you, just a reminder_

He knew he was panicking for nothing, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Sander.

„What do you think, Robbe?“ Yasmina said, he realized that they’ve probably been talking to him the whole time, but he was lost in his thoughts.

„Sorry, um, what did you say?“ Yasmina chuckled, but Zoe looked at him with a worried look.

„Is everything okay Robbe?“ she asked.

„Yeah, um, no…..Sander is not feeling well, you know, the thing with his dad. Yeah, he’s just been having nightmares about it which led into depressive episode and i just can’t stop thinking about him“.

Yasmina had a serious look on her face now, „but that’s totally understandable, you could’ve just told us“.

„Yeah i know, sorr-„ he was interupted by Zoe’s „i thought we were clear that you don’t need to apologize for basic things“ and Robbe smiled at her.

„You think you could tell the teacher that i had some problem with water in our flat or something? I can’t wait any longer, i need to go check on him“.

The girls looked at him and nodded. He quickly thanked them and went home.

-

On his way home, Robbe went to a shop to get Sander some of his favorite things, to make him feel better.

He opened the door to their bedroom, it looked like Sander haven’t moved the whole day, he was lying on his side with his back turned to Robbe. Robbe slowly went in and sat down on the bed.

Sander turned around and looked at Robbe, „what are you doing here? I told you to stay at school, I don’t need a babysitter“.

Robbe’s face dropped at that and he decided that it was better to leave Sander alone. So he decided to cook something for dinner and also in case Sander got hungry and he texted the girls:

_R: Should’ve stayed at school, he’s really annoyed at me, he told me that he doesn’t need a babysitter :(((_

_Y: I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.._

_Z: do you want us to come over and lighten your mood? School ends in 10 minutes_

_R: i have a free afternoon so if you want ot you can come.._

_Y: we’ll be there!!_

After like 20 minutes the girls arrived. Robbe told them to try to be as quiet as possible and went to the kitchen with them.

They started talking about what happened in the last two lessons, apparently he’s missed a lot. Everything always happens when you’re not at school.

-

They’ve been talking for an hour when they heard footsteps and the door to the kitchen opened soon after and Sander was standing there, looking sleepy, all wrapped up in his blanket. When he saw that Yasmina and Zoe were there, he wanted to go back, but Robbe stopped him. „Do you need anything?“ he asked. „Can we talk?“ and Robbe nodded and went with Sander back to the bedroom.

„I’m sorry Robbe, i was so annoyed and you didn’t deserve it, it’s all my stupid brain’s fault“ Robbe supped his cheeks, „it’s okay baby, i know you didn’t mean it and stop calling yourself stupid. You’re not stupid and i’m here for you, whatever you need, but you need to let me help you okay? Or hold you or whatever helps“.

Sander nodded and pulled Robbe closer. After a while Robbe felt his t-shirt getting wet and right after that he heard Sander’s loud sob.

„It’s all coming back to me Robbe. My dad, how he left us, how he told me that i’ve only been a burden to our family and I can’t handle it anymore. I just want my brain to shut up and let me be.“

He started sobbing more and more and Robbe pulled him even closer, he honestly didn’t know what to say, because he knew how overthinking always got into Sander’s way, whatever he tried to do. There was no way for him to avoid it.

„It’s okay….we’re gonna handle it together okay?“ he pulled back and took Sander’s face into his hands, wanting to be able to see him.

„You’re not alone, you understand? You never have to deal with things alone, but you need to tell me, because otherwise I won’t be able to help you“. He said, looking straight into Sander’s eyes.

Sander pecked him on his lips, „it’s weird, but could you stay here with me? I know you have visitors, but-“.

„Don’t worry about it, they’ve been here for over an hour okay? We managed to talk about everything. Now lie down and i’ll be back in a minute“.

And he kept his promise. He made sure that the girls weren’t mad at him for literally kicking them out and after they told him many times that it was okay, he walked them out of their apartment and went back to Sander, pulling him into his arms, sighing happily to finally have him in his arms again.

-

Robbe was waken up by the sound of his phone again, it was Saturday so he got a little worried that perhaps something wrong happened.

He quickly sat up, pulling Sander with him since he literally layed on top of him, but he didn’t care. It was a message from Noor:

_N: Hi Robbe, your mom has not been feeling well since yesterday. We didn’t want to text you because we know how hard it is for you right now and also because we thought that it’d get better soon, but unfortunately it didn’t. We don’t know why she got worse, but we thought that it’d maybe help if she saw you. So please if you could come and visit her._

_R: I’ll come as soon as possible!_

Noor was a nurse in the institution his mom was in.

She got there a few months ago, when she tried to commit suicide. Robbe’s father left them just a few weeks ago and his mom seemed okay with that, she always told him that she knew it’d happen because they didn’t love each other anymore. He believed her, because she seemed happier without him, relieved and their relationship was also a lot better, they got closer.

But a few weeks later, she lost her job and that was the last straw for her, she couldn’t handle it anymore and took some pills. Fortunately, Robbe found her and called the ambualnce just in time.

After that she’s been accepted to the institution and Robbe had to find a new place to live, because he couldn’t stay alone.

His father wanted him to live with him, but Robbe was so angry with him, he couldn’t see his face every day.

That’s when Milan and Zoe came in. Zoe offered him a spare room in their flatshare and so he accepted. He had so many great memories from that.

After a few months, Sander came with the idea of them living together, which Robbe was hesitant about at first, but then he decided that it was probably a good idea, since they’ve already spent almost all the time together, either at Sander’s or at the flatshare. So they rented a very cheap flat and moved in, they were so happy to finally be able to have their own place where nobody can disturb them.

Sander was a bit worried about what his mom would say about him moving out, because of the events with his dad, but she asssured him that she was happy for him and was gonna be okay.

Robbe didn’t even realize that tears were rolling down his cheecks, until Sander hugged him and pulled him close.

„Your mom?“, Robbe nodded.

„She got worse, i need to visit her“.

„Should i go with you? I’m feeling a lot better“ Sander said.

„No, you stay here. I wanna go alone okay?“ And he got up to get ready to go.

-

He came back home around 12am.

Sander was still in their bed, but looked at him as soon as he knew he was home, silently asking him how it went.

„Apparently she’s been having some voices in her head trying to tell her what to do and apparently they’ve also been telling her to try to kill herself again….so she tried, but didn’t succeed, that was why she was being so agressive, because she was useless, she couldn’t even kill herself“ Robbe stopped speaking, looking exhausted.

„They’re gonna have to keep her there for longer than expected….i just hope it’s gonna go fast so she can go home soon, she doesn’t look happy there“, he continued.

„I’m sure it will, she’s a fighter right?“ but Robbe coudln’t hear him anymore, he fell asleep.

Sander was sure even he didn’t know how, but he just let him sleep, these past weeks have been too much on Robbe.


	3. I know you meant well

Sander and Robbe were sitting on the bench in front of school, eating lunch and talking.

It’s been a week since Robbe visited his mom and she got a little better, which means that Robbe was also happier. Or at least he seemed happier in the morning, as for now, Sander could tell that something was wrong with him.

„Is something wrong baby?“ He didn’t want to bring it up at first, he’d ask at home he thought, but he could tell that Robbe wasn’t feeling good at all and he just wanted to be there for him.

Robbe looked at him and shook his head, but after he saw the look Sander gave him, he spoke up.

„It’s just…..it’s gonna sound so stupid..“ Sander put his hand on Robbe’s knee.

„If it make you sad it’s not stupid“ he said.

„It’s just that…..we got a homework from my biology teacher and she wants us to do a presentation in pairs but I don’t have anybody to do it with….I sound like a crybaby now god..“ Sander leaned in and kissed him.

„Come on, stop. It’s not stupid okay? I would feel the same, maybe try to ask Yasmina or Zoe?“.

Robbe shook his head, „I’ve already asked them, they’re together. They wanted to ask the teacher if we could do it in groups but I said no….I’ll find somebody okay? Don’t worry about it“.

But Sander could see that it bothered Robbe. „I wish I could do it with you…it’d be all easier if we were in the same class“.

Robbe nodded and snugled into Sander’s side.

„Um, hi, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you“.

The boys looked up and saw Jens standing there.

„What do you want?“ Sander said with a harsh voice.

„I wanted to ask Robbe if he was in pair with somebody already, if not I was wondering if you wanted to be with me?“ Sander stared at him angry, Robbe took his hand under the table to calm him down, but it didn’t seem to be working.

„Are you kidding me? Who do you even think you are? Do you even know how much you’ve hurt Robbe? How much he needed you and your support and you just turned your backs to him and made gossips the whole school believed? And now you come here as if nothing happened? You’ve got to be kidding me!!“ Sander was so angry, he looked like he was going to burst from his own skin. Robbe hugged him tightly.

„We can do it together….unless it’s some stupid game you’re playing with me right now and you’re gonna laugh at it wit the others later…“.

Jens laughed, „no, actually…I’ve been thinking a lot and I decided that i want to leave the group. They don’t know yet, but, um, I’m gonna tell them soon“.

Robbe was shocked, he still thought it was just some game.

„You really should do that, because they’re toxic and they’re not gonna back you up when you need them….“.

„Robbe, I wanted to apologize. I did horrible things to you and I’m so so sorry, i should’ve never listened to them, I should’ve stayed by your side. I wish I could take everything back, but I can’t, so I hope that my apology is enough, or that you’ll think about it and maybe forgive me one day….“

Sander looked at Jens and looked like he wanted to say something again, but Robbe stopped him before he could, this was his place to deal with this.

„I’ll think about it yeah….good luck with leaving the boys. I’ll text you about when we can meet for the presentation“.

Jens nodded and went away, Sander’s eyes still killing him.

„Sorry, but I have to deal with this on my own, I know you want to help me and protect me, but not like this okay?“ Robbe said to Sander.

„Are you mad?“ Sander asked with pouted lips and puppy eyes.

„No, I know you meant well“ Robbe whispered and kissed Sander. The school bell rang and they went back to their classes, after a few kisses of course.

-

“So how is your mom doing?” Jens asked Robbe.

He was at his and Sander’s apartment for the school project. They finished a few minutes ago and Robbe invited Jens to stay over a bit longer.

He was glad to have the feeling of having a friend again. Sander wasn’t home yet, so they had time for themselves.

“Pretty bad actually….a week ago she got worse, so she has to stay there for longer than expected”.

“I’m sorry to hear that…I want to apologize again, for how I acted, I was an asshole when you needed my help the most, I’m really really sorry, if you let me I want to be here for you now, but I get if you don’t want me to anymore”.

“It’s gonna be harder to trust you again, but I’m gonna try. I don’t want to lose you because you fucked up, so I’m gonna give you one more change, but I’m not gonna trust you right now, it’s gonna take some time…”.

They were interrupted by the doors being open, Sander standing there.

“Hi” he went in and kissed Robbe and Robbe could see that Jens smiled.

“Hi, we got lost in time probably, I hope you don’t mind” Robbe said.

“No, it’s okay….but you don’t try to hurt him again” he said to Jens.

Jens shaked his head, said goodbye and went home.

“I heard you conversation…I hope you’re making the right decision” he smiled at Robbe.

“I hope so too, but I think so. I kinda know him you know, so I think he really means it”.

“Okay, shall we go out for dinner?” Sander said and leaned in to kiss Robbe again.

“I think that’s a good idea, I don’t want to cook anything”.

-

At the restaurant, they ate their dinner and decided to stay for a bit longer, since they haven’t been out together for a long time.

They were sitting next to each other, kissing from time to time, their hands never leaving each other’s bodies.

They turned around when they heard loud talking and noises. Robbe sighed, of course it was Moyo and Aaron. They stopped talking when they saw Robbe and Sander there. Moyo then started laughing and went to them.

“Hi you loverbirds, out on a date?” he started laughing again.

“What do you want? And why are you laughing all the time? Are you high or what?” Sander said in an annoyed voice. They really couldn’t have one nice day.

“Oh, oh, why so harsh I just came to say hi to my favorite couple”.

Robbe could feel Sander tense next to him, so he put his hand on his knee, to try to calm him down, but he knew it wouldn’t work.

“Who do you even think you are? Have you ever thought about your actions? Have you ever thought about the fact that your words can hurt others? If you don’t like us that much, why don’t you just let us be? Why are you always where we are? Seems like somebody’s pretty obsessed to me”.

Moyo’s face turned into surprised, he probably didn’t expect Sander to scream at him like this and also he probably knew that he’s right.

Robbe smiled and whispered into Sander’s ear “can we go home?” and Sander nodded, so they left. Leaving the boys sitting there surprised.


	4. You're not going to get rid of me that easily

_7 months later_

„Come on Sander, you have to learn, you’re graduating in a few weeks“ Robbe was interrupted by Sander pulling him in bed again.

He was trying to get Sander to understand that he has to go sleep to the flatshare for a few nights, because Sander needs to study for his graduation, but if Robbe’s with him, he won’t study. Sander kissed him as his hands found their way under Robbe’s t-shirt, but Robbe pulled away, „no no no, I’m leaving“ he pecked Sander on the lips and stormed out of the room, laughing.

Sander ran after him but Robbe was already dressed and ready to go. „You’ll come back right?“. „Of course i will, it’s not forever“ Robbe giggled. Sander’s heart melted at that, he loved Robbe’s giggles. He kissed him once again and Robbe pulled back.

„Go study okay?“ Sander rolled his eyes and nodded. Robbe pecked him on the lips and went away.

-

„Come on Robbe you’re no fun!“ Milan said as Robbe didn’t want to play Never have i ever with them. „I came here to give Sander some space so he could study not to play games with you“. Milan smirked, „but we can talk right?“.

Robbe rolled his eyes, „I won’t ever get rid of you, will i?“ Robbe tried to sound annoying, but he was trying not to laugh and Milan could see it. „No, you’re not. Didn’t you miss mea t least a little bit?“.

„It’s crazy, but i didn’t. You know…. I have this really great boyfriend who is enough for me and i don’t need other people with me“. Milan burst out laughing and Robbe did too after a few seconds.

They heard door opening and Zoë came into the living room, „what’s so funny?“ she smiled. „Come join us“ Milan said. „Are we going to play something?“ Zoë asked and Robbe groaned, „not you too“.

-

„You’re gonna do great baby. You’ve studied hard, don’t stress over this…besides there’s nothing you can do about it now“ Robbe took Sander’s hand in his, it was the day for Sander, he was graduating. He probably wouldn’t be so nervous if he didn’t get accepted into his dream university.

He was the best of all people that applied for the university, so he didn’t even have to do any exams, he only sent his art and got accepted. He was so happy, but he also got more stressed, because if he didn’t graduate, he wouldn’t be able to go there.

They were sitting in front of the class but Robbe couldn’t tell which one of them was more nervous.

After a few minutes, the teacher called Sander’s name and Sander looked like he was about to pass out. Robbe pecked him on his lips and wished him good luck.

_R: it’s Sander’s turn now_

_I’m more nervous than him help me_

_Y: he’s gonna do great don’t stress too much_

_Z: please, all he did these past weeks was studying, of course he’ll pass_

_R: ik, he’s talented, but i’m just worried. It’d end him if he couldn’t go to the university just bc he didn’t graduate :(((_

_Y: he will, let us know when you know sth_

_R: ofc_

The door opened and Robbe saw Sander’s face, he didn’t look like he just graduated. Robbe’s face dropped, „what happened?“ he asked and then Sander come to his arms, wanting to be held. Then Robbe heard sobs.

„Sander, talk to me“ he was so worried. Sander looked up at him and started laughing, „guess who just graduated?“ he said and Robbe punched him into his chest. „Asshole. I was worried“. Sander kissed him and Robbe wasn’t angry anymore.

They were on their way to the flatshare, where they were supposed to celebrate with Milan. As they arrived, they took off their shoes and jackets and went into the living room.

„Surprise“ Sander could see Jens, Zoë, Senne and Yasmina jumping from their hiding and started laughing. „What are you all doing here?“ he sounded so happy, Robbe looked at his glowing face. His bleached hair, how much he loved running his hand through them, his beautiful green eyes, always staring at him with so much love, his little scar under his eye, and finally his eyes dropped onto his lips, how soft they always felt pressed against his, how he could never get enough of them, how those always make him in need for more-.

„Okay, you have a beautiful boyfriend, we get it, but let’s celebrate now“ Milan punched him into his arm. Sander giggled and pulled Robbe into his arms, happy to have all those people as his friends.

_A week later_

Sander woke up to nobody lying next to him, again. He’s been waking up without Robbe next to him for a few nights already, but when he asked Robbe wheter something was wrong, he always brushed it off. He really wanted to be there for Robbe and help him with anything he needed, but the brunette wasn’t making it easy.

He found Robbe in the kitchen again, breakfast already made and when he saw Sander, he gave him a weak smile. Sander went in and kissed him.

„I don’t like waking up without you“ Sander pouted. Robbe sipped his coffee and looked down, avoiding eye contact.

„Robbe please, I know something is wrong and whatever i tis, we can solve it together, you know that right?“ Robbe nodded. „I don’t want to sound stupid….“ Sander cupped his cheek and pecked him on the lips, waiting for him to start talking.

„I don’t know I’ve just…..been thinking how it’s gonna be when you’re in London and I’m gonna be here alone, like what’s gonna be with us….I’m just scared because i don’t want to lose you“. Sander’s face dropped, he knew that one day they’d have to talk about it, but for now he just wanted to enjoy Robbe as much as he could, but he probably should’ve talked about it before with him.

„I’m sorry baby..I should’ve talked about it earlier with you. I’ve been thinking about it too, to be honest, but I think we’re ready for the long distance relationship, i mean i know that we won’t be together for a long time and it’s gonna be hard, but we can do it, i believe in us. Only if you want to though“.

A tear rolled down Robbe’s cheek and he took Sander’s hands in his own. „I want to be with you, forever, but it’s gonna be so hard, i’m gonna miss you so much…I don’t know how i’ll be able to handle it…“ Sander wiped off the tear, „I know that it’s not enough, but we can facetime anytime, I’ll text you all day and before you know it, i’ll be back in your arms“.

Robbe looked into Sander’s eyes and smiled, „we’ll figure it together, just like everything“ Sander said and took Robbe onto his lap, to pull him closer. „And now let’s make the most of us being together for the last few days“ and Robbe was happier than he’s ever been.

-

The spent the last few days together, most of the time cuddled in bed, talking, kissing, cuddling. But the day has come, today Sander was supposed to leave for London. When they woke up, they spent a few hours cuddling again, knowing that they won’t get to do that for a long time.

Now they were standing at the airport, trying to be as close as possible. „I can’t believe that the days has come, like you’re really leaving…how am i gonna live without you?“ Sander took Robbe’s face into his arms, trying not to cry, „we can do this together, just like we promised each other. It’s only for one year okay? Then you’ll come to London too and we’ll be together“ Robbe smiled sadly, he wished it’d be like that.

He wants to apply for the same university as Sander, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to go there, since his mom is still in the institution and she would get worse if he left her, but that was something he needed to worry about later.

„I love you“ Robbe said and leaned in to kiss Sander. The kiss was a little too passionate despite the fact that they were in public, but they didn’t care, these were their last moments together for a long time.

The sound of a woman announcing Sander’s flight pulled them apart. „I love you so much baby, I’ll call you when i arrive okay? And don’t forget that this is not forever, we’ll be together again soon okay?“ Robbe nodded and kissed Sander again, but after a few kisses Sander pulled back, „I really don’t want to, but I really have to go now…“ Robbe smiled at him, „I know, i love you so much, please promise me that we’re gonna call everyday“ Robbe wanted to cry, but was trying hard to hold it in, not wanting their last moment to be him crying. „Of course we will, you’re not going to get rid of me that easily“ Sander laughed and gave Robbe another peck on his lips and then he was gone.


	5. I gave up everything for you

Robbe came back to the flatshare, he’s decided that it was the best if he moved back there and he and Sander sold their apartment, since Robbe would be alone there, which he didn’t want to. Zoë and Milan were in the living room, probably waiting for him because there was a lot of drinks and some snacks waiting on the table.

„So how are you feeling?“ Zoë asked when she noticed that Robbe was home. „Like shit, but it’s gonna be okay“, he said. Zoë came to hug him.

He sat down with them and they started talking about everything and since they haven’t seen each other for a long time, it was a lot.

-

It was a few hours later and they were still talking, but then Robbe’s phone started ringing. His face lit up when he saw who it was. He excused himself and went into his room. „Hi“ he smiled.

„Hi cutie, you look great“ Sander said, making Robbe blush.

„We saw each other a few hours ago…“ Robbe said. „But whatever, how was your flight?“.

„It was okay, i slept a little and before i noticed we were here“.

„I already miss you so much baby“.

„I miss you too…“ Sander leaned in and sent Robbe a kiss through his screen, making Robbe giggle.

Robbe heard a noise. „Where are you?“.

„I’m at the dorm, the noise was my roomate probably. He seems really nice“.

Robbe smiled, „I’m happy to hear that, I hope you’ll find new friends“.

„Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?“ Sander laughed.

„Yeah, I don’t know what I’ll do without you here if Moyo and Aaron come to me again…“ Robbe’s face got serious, he really didn’t know what he was going to do without Sander by his side the whole time.

„Just ignore them, they don’t deserve your attention. And besides, you have Yasmina, Zoë and Jens, I’m pretty sure they’d stay by you“.

„Yeah, that’s probably true, I’m just gonna miss you so much…“.

„Me too, but we have to do it, okay? And we can, we’re stong“ Sander smiled and Robbe sent him a smile back.

„Now, do you want to watch a movie or something?“ Sander proposed.

„And how do you think we’re gonna do that? We’re not even together“.

„Robbe, I love you, I really do, but sometimes you’re dumb. We live in 21st century if you haven’t noticed. I’ll find the movie and send you a link okay?“ Robbe laughed, „okay“.

-

It was the first day of school. Robbe couldn’t believe it was already his senior year. High school was the worst but also the best phase of his life. He was at his lowest at the time he found out he was different from anybody, he lost his friends because of it but he also found the love of his life and new friends, that were really important, because they stood right beside him.

Now he’s standing in front of the school again, but this time without Sander and he only now realizes how alone he feels.

Sander was always the one who put others into the right place if they tried something. He was always the one who made sure that Robbe is okay, obviously his friends did too, but they weren’t able to tell if Robbe was feeling bad, only Sander was always able to tell that Robbe wasn’t feeling well and honestly he didn’t know how he’s gonna survive this year.

„Why didn’t you wait for me in the morning?“ he heard a familiar voice and turned around.

„Sorry, I just needed to walk….alone“ he gave Zoë a weak smile. „That’s okay, if you want to talk about it I’m here“ Zoë smiled back, maybe somebody actually did know him well.

„It’s just that…I’ve been thinking about everything I’ve experienced in high school and all the memories i have. I’m happy for all of that and sad that it’s going away so soon….and I also miss Sander“. Zoë caressed his shoulder, „yeah I’ve been thinking about that too..but i’m just grateful that i got to meet so many amazing people here and i hope that I can stay friends with them…“ Zoë smiled again and Robbe turned around to hug her.

„So much love“ they heard Yasmina say and hugged her too and then went to class together, laughing.

-

„….so yeah, my first day was pretty cool“, Robbe finished telling Sander what happened at school today, Sander only listening and smiling the whole time. „That’s cool, I'm happy that you had a great day“ Robbe grinned. „What about your day?“ Robbe asked.

„Well, I got into the wrong bus in the morning, so I had to find my way back and go into the right one and I lost a lot of time with that so I arrived a little late, but it was okay, they got it and were all supportive. I honestly love the atmosphere here, everybody is so nice and I’ve already made new friends“.

„That’s great, I’m happy for you. I just miss you so much“ Robbe felt tears in his eyes, but tried to keep them in.

„Hey, you know you can just let go right? It’s just the two of us“ Sander said in a serious tone, so Robbe let the tears fall down.

„I’m sorry, it’s just…I’ve been thinking about everything we’ve experienced together and I just….I miss it so much“. Robbe said when the tears stopped.

„Don’t apologize baby, I feel the same….I miss it so much, god I miss _you_ so much, but I’m kinda taking this as a new beginning“.

Robbe looked down, „but do you want me to be in the new beginning? Because I feel like I’m the only thing holding you back…“.

Sander snorted, „what? What are you even saying? You know how I meant it, I’d never trade you for anyhing, you’re the best thing that happened to me in my whole life, okay?“ Robbe looked into Sander’s eyes and smiled when he could see that he really meant it. „Okay…“

-

Robbe was sitting in his class, eating a snack as Moyo and Aaron came to him. He rolled his eyes, because he was there alone, Yasmina was sick, Zoë needed to call somebody and Jens went to the toilet.

„What do you want again?“ he asked them. „We wanted to ask you if you wanted to be friends with us, you know since Sander and you aren’t together anymore“ Robbe furrowed his eyebrows. „What do you mean we’re not together anymore?“.

Moyo showed him his phone with an Instagram photo posted by someone called _brittingelbrecht_. The photo showed Sander and some girl, probably that Britt, standing really close, touching everywhere and laughing, they didn’t look like friends to Robbe, „I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is cheating on me“ Aaron said, he looked like he wanted to laugh.

Then Robbe saw Jens coming back, „what are you doing here?“ he said in an annoyed voice.

„Just opening Robbe’s eyes…“,

„Well, from what I can see, Robbe has his eyes already open, so you two can leave, bye“.

The boys looked at him, snorted and just left. Jens gave Robbe a questioning look, so Robbe searched up _brittingelbrecht_ on Instagram and showed Jens the photo, „so? You know that a boy and a girl can be just friends right? And I’m sure that’s all they are“ Jens smile dat Robbe and Robbe just nodded, „yeah, you’re right“.

Then he texted Sander:

_R: facetime in the evening?_

_S: can’t today, sorry :(( love you_

_R: why?? I miss you sm_

_S: going out with some friends, i’ll make it up to you tomorrow <33_

_R: okay.._

-

It’s been a week and they’ve only facetimed once, Sander always said that he doesn’t have time that day and that he’ll make it up to Robbe, but he never did.

Robbe couldn’t stop thinking about the photo and Sander always texting him that he’s going out with friends.

His mom was going to be released from the institution and he was so happy, because she really got so much better lately, but he couldn’t think about it, not when he was slowly losing Sander.

He was sitting in Math class, when he got a notification for somebody trying to send him a message on Instagram:

_Amber: Hi, you’re Sander’s boyfriend right?!_

_Robbe: Um, hi? Yes, I am, who are you??_

_Amber: I’m Sander’s classmate! He talks about you a lot!_

_Robbe: He does? I don’t want to be rude, but do you need something?_

_Amber: I just got a new boyfriend and I wanted to ask you for some advices on a healthy relationship, since yours seems great!_

_Robbe: But you can’t know that much about our relationship :D_

_Amber: Well, if I can judge on the fact that you have a long distance relationship and you still trust Sander even though he and Britt are so close, I think that’s healthy relationship!!_

_Robbe: Sander and Britt?_

_Amber: Yes!!!! Everybody here thinks they’re more than friends!_

„Robbe, put the phone down!!“ he quickly looks up at the whole class staring at him and the teacher with an angry look. „I’m sorry, I don’t feel good, I have to go“, he heard the teacher screaming his name, but he didn’t care.

-

Robbe, on his way home, calls Sander.

„Hi cutie, I really don’t have t-„ Robbe cuts him off. „Oh you don’t have time?? How surprising!! I haven’t heard anything else from you for a week now!!“ he screams to the phone, „Robbe, please, i was just busy with school and everything“.

„Is it because of Britt? Are you fucking with her? Is she better than me? Why did you do this, just tell me! I loved you Sander, I gave up everything for you and now you do this“, this time it was Sander who interrupted him, „what? Britt, what are you talking about? And did you say that you loved me? Does that mean that you don’t anymore or what should I take from this?“.

Robbe was full on crying right now, „I don’t know, do you love me? Or do you love us both?“, „you both? What? I don’t get what you’re saying?“.

„I saw that photo of you and Britt, Moyo showed it into my face and now your classmate is texting me on Instagram that she want some advices on healthy relationships because we seem to have healthy relationship because i have to trust you a lot since everybody thinks you and Britt are more than friends, so tell me what I should think“.

„But you’re not just gonna trust some stranger, right? We’ve been together for almost 2 years baby, you should know that I love you by now“.

Robbe sighed, „Can you just give me some time please? I’m not breaking up with you, I don’t want to take a break or anything, I just need a few days off, please“, Robbe sobbed out.

„I can give you as many days as you need….I love you okay? I’d never hurt you“ Robbe hummed in response and hung up.

_to Milan:_

_i need to talk, will you be home in a few minutes?_

_M: I’ll manage it!!_


	6. Do you still want me?

Robbe just finished telling Milan everything. Milan sighed, „so what are you gonna do after those days?“.

Robbe looked at his hands, „I don’t know….I just miss him so much and I feel like I’m overreacting…“.

„I don’t think you are, or at least, I’d be the same if I was in your situation..“ Robbe’s phone interrupted them and Robbe looked down, silently hoping to see Sander.

_Mia: Hi Robbe! I’m one of Sander’s classmates, a friend of Amber, unfortunately, and she told me she messaged you. I’m sorry for her, she kinda likes getting involved in people’s stuff._

_I just wanted to make things right and tell you that she’s the only one who thinks that Britt and Sander are more than friends. You know, oposite genders can also be just friends and she doesn’t seem to get that….so yeah, Sander and Britt clicked immediately, but just as friends. Sander won’t stop talking about you, btw._ _😊_

_Robbe: did Sander tell you to message me?_

_Mia: What? No! We haven’t even seen each other today!_

_Robbe: okay, thank you for telling me…_

_Mia: no problem, I hope Amber didn’t cause any trouble.._

He showed the conversation to Milan, „you see? It’s all alright“. Robbe sighed, „how can I look into his eyes now?“.

Milan laughed at that, „just like you did until now, it’s not a big deal okay? You didn’t do anything so bad“.

„I feel so stupid Milan! I should’ve trusted him, he’s my boyfriend“.

„Robbe, calm down, maybe you two should talk about it?“. Robbe just nodded at that.

_A week later_

Sander had been calling Robbe for a week now, but Robbe didn’t pick it up.

He trusted Sander and knew that he didn’t do anything wrong, but he was so ashamed of himself for how he reacted and he didn’t want to talk about it with Sander. He honestly didn’t know what he’d do in the future, he’d had to meet Sander one day, but he could deal with that later.

He was going home from school, he had an amazing day.

His mom had been released 2 days ago and she was doing really well. She’s now in a job interview.

He was close to the flatshare when he heard his name being called.

„Thank god, I thought you’d never stop“ Sander said, _Sander_. He was standing in front of Robbe and Robbe thought that he went completely crazy. That was until he touched Sander’s chest, surprised that he was actually there.

„What are you doing here?“ he asked.

„You weren’t picking up my calls, so I wanted to talk to you in person. I can’t do this anymore Robbe, I love you so much, but if you don’t want me then just say it…“ he was interrupted by Robbe crashing his lips against his.

Sander walked them forward and showed Robbe against a wall, never breaking their contact. They kept kissing for what felt like hours, tongues clashing into each other’s mouth, hand all over each other’s bodies.

Robbe was the first one to pull away with a need for fresh air.

„So I guess that means you still want me?“ Sander chuckled, breathless as well.

Robbe’s mouth was swollen from all the kissing and when he looked up, he could see that it was the same for Sander.

„Of yourse I fucking want you! I’m sorry for how I’ve reacted….I really shouldn’t have, it’s just…I missed you so much and I don’t know what’s gotten into me and when I came back to my senses, I was so angry at myself for how I’ve acted and also ashamed, I didn’t know how I’d be able to look into your eyes…“ Sander took Robbe’s face into his hands and pecked his lips.

„It’s okay, if I was in your place, I’d probably react similiar. But you know you could’ve just talked to me right? I would never judge you for anything. And I don’t think you acted stupid, before you say something like that, because god, I missed you so much I thought I’d die from it. And I'm sorry for not telling you about Britt, I don't know, I have a lot of friends there so I didn't know why I should mention exactly her...but next time I'll tell you everything, I promise."

"No, it's okay, of course you can have friends...".

Robbe still couldn’t believe that Sander was here with him, telling him that they’re okay, reassuring him that his feelings matter for him.

„I’ll try to not panic so much next time“ he laughed at himself.

„Well, I’d rather there not be a next time…“ Sander joked and they both laughed.

Then they went to the flatshare together.

-

„How long are you staying?“ Robbe asked when they were in his room.

They met Milan in the hallway and didn’t escape his questions, but all Robbe wanted at that time was to be with Sander alone. Luckily, Milan had a date to go to, so he released them pretty soon.

„5 days max, then I have to go back“.

Robbe looked sad again, thinking about Sander leaving him there by himself.

„But let’s not count the days or anything, let’s make the most off those days okay?“ and Robbe nodded.

-

They have been talking about Sander’s school for hours now.

Apparently Sander was the best student in the class and teacher’s favorite, which didn’t surprise Robbe at all.

„Yeah, but I have amazing classmates, they’re all so supportive and passionate about the things we do, I just love it there. I hope you’ll get there too next year“.

„Yeah I hope so too, I’ve actually talked about it with mom, she said that it’d be cool and she’d be happy for me and not to worry about her, that she can manage herself“ Sander smiled, „well, you said she’s doing a lot better, so I’d believe her“.

Robbe looked up from his position on Sander’s chest, to be able to look into Sander’s eyes, „tell me about your classmates“ Sander smiled, „well, I don’t really know what to tell you, we’re classmates….we don’t really all talk, everybody found some people and they got closer, you know…..just like me and Britt“, Robbe could see how careful Sander was, trying to say her name.

„You can talk about her, I was just being stupid. You can have as many friends as you like….so tell me about her“.

Sander leaned down and kissed Robbe, „well, she’s actually been dying to meet you. She said that I talk about you so much that she needs to confirm if it’s really all the truth“ they both laughed at that, „yeah, I can meet her…or at least through facetime for now“.

Sander smiled, „I’ll arrange it“.

-

They were walking to school together, wanting to be together as much as they could. Robbe has a long day today, and he honestly just wanted to stay home with Sander, but Sander wouldn’t let him, saying that he need to be at school, especially now.

When they arrived at school, Yasmina and Zoë were already waiting there for them. Sander hugged them both, he missed them too, even though they were more of Robbe’s friends, he still used to hang out with them a lot too.

„So how’s London?“ Zoë asked.

„It’s amazing, I’m so glad I got there, honestly I can’t even describe how happy I am there“.

„That’s so good to hear!“ Yasmina said.

„So…what about you two? Did you solve everything?“ Robbe looked at Sander, „it was just me being stupid..“ but Sander interrupted him.

„I told you it wasn’t stupid, stop putting yourself down like this okay? Yeah, Yasmina, we solved everything and it’s going great now and I’m happy for that“ Sander smiled at Yasmina and stood closer to Robbe.

„Hi everyone“ Jens hugged Sander and after that it was time to go to school.

Sander and Robbe shared a few kisses before Jens literally dragged Robbe away.

-

It was their last day together today, tomorrow Sander had to leave again. They were watching some movie now, but didn’t really care about it. They were kissing, cuddling or talking the whole time.

„I’m gonna miss you so much..“ Robbe spoke up.

„But I won’t have to fly here because you don’t pick my phone again, right?“ Sander joked and earned a slap into his shoulder from Robbe, who laughed too.

„I’m kinda excited about going to London too, if I’ll get there..“.

„You should be excited, because the school is absolutely amazing!“ Sander sounded so happy and excited.

„But I still need to graduate and do good at the application exams, which is going to be hard…“, Sander sat up and looked at Robbe, „you really need to stop putting yourself down, you’re the smartest person I know, of course you’ll pass…“ Robbe leaned up and kissed Sander. „I hope so…“

-

Robbe walked Sander to the airport and they were waiting for the plane together now. „Please promise me that we’re gonna be good from now on“ Sander said, his voice sounding worried.

„Of course we will be, or at least I will try“ Robbe laughed at himself, making Sander laugh too.

A voice of a lady announcing Sander’s plane pulled them out of their little bubble, „I’m gonna have to go…“ Sande got up and took his bag from the ground. Robbe leaned in and kissed him, which lasted longer than it should.

They kissed until the lady spoke up again, reminding everybody to get on the plane quickly.

„I’ll call you when I arrive okay?“ Sander too Robbe’s face in his hands, „I’ll be waiting“ Robbe said and kissed Sander once more. Then he just watched Sander go away, turning multiple times to look at him and smile.

After a few minutes he went back home.

-

Robbe was now in his English class, not really paying attention. His phone buzzed with a new notification:

_S: I asked Britt if she wants to join out facetime tonight. Is that okay with you?_

_R: yes!! I’m looking forward to it <33_

_S: okay, I love you_

_R: love you more_

Robbe felt a push into his hand and looked at Yasmina with a questioning look. „She keeps looking at you, stop texting“ Yasmina whispered and Robbe put his phone down. „We’re talking about what we want to do in future“ she whispered again, „thanks“ Robbe smiled at her.

It was just in time because the teacher just asked him.

Robbe said that he wanted to work in a film industry in the future and that he was hoping that he’d get accepted to the university in London. The teacher wished him a good luck and said that she believes in him.

-

„Hi cutie“ Sander said. They’ve just started the facetime. „Hi“ Robbe smiled. Suddenly there was a girl next to Sander, „Robbe this is Britt, Britt this is Robbe my boyfriend“ Sander spoke up.

„Hi“ Robbe said and smiled, „hi, I’m so glad to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you. Sander literally won’t shut up about his perfect boyfriend“ and Robbe laughed.

-

Robbe was lying on his bed, thinking about everything when he heard his door being opened. He turned around and saw Zoë standing there, „can I come in?“ she asked with a smile on her face. Robbe nodded and sat up.

„So, how are you doing?“ she asked him. „Great actually, I just called with Sander and his friend Britt, she’s great, I’m glad I get to meet her or at least see her“.

„Well, I’m happy to hear that, I wanted to ask you if you’re already preparing for graduation and for the applications to the university?“

„I haven’t started yet, but I’m thinking about starting soon, why?“.

„Just asking, I was thinking about applying to an university too, so I just asked you know…“.

„That’s cool, where do you want to go?“

„I was thinking about being a nurse, I want to help people, but I’m still kinda scared…it’s gonna be hard“.

„But you’re smart and you can do it. Besides, you can always drop out of the school, so it’s worth the try“.

„That’s true, well thank you“ Zoë stood up and wanted to leave, „wait, do you want to watch a movie or something with me?“ Robbe proposed and Zoë’s face lit up and she nodded.

-

Robbe was sitting in front off the school with Jens. They had a free hour now, so they ate snack and waited.

Suddenly Aaron and Moyo approached them again and Robbe sighed and muttered „fuck“ under his breath.

„So, we’ve heard that there are some troubles in paradise. Did you come to your senses and broke up with that blonde or what?“ Robbe has had enough, „no, actually we’re still together, because you know, we trust each other. If you know what trust means, if you don’t, then google it. And besides, it’s not any of your business“. Moyo made an _ooo_ sound and was ready to make another comment, but Robbe was done with this.

„What again? Why don’t you just let me be? I was there, it wasn’t me who got mad at you for talking about girls and sex all the time, I was just sitting there, listening to your bullshit and your questions about my sexuality, which was making me so uncomfortable by the way, but I said nothing, because I didn’t want to lose my friends.

But when I got a boyfriend, it was you who couldn’t take it and started gossips about me in the whole school and you continued even though none of that was true! And I still tried even after that but you just didn’t want me as your friend anymore so I just stopped and went away, but now it’s you who won’t leave me alone! It’s you who always come to me and make stupid comments, I never came to you, I never spoke to you, I never made fun of you, so why do I always have to listen to it?! I left you alone, now you leave me, or are you so obsessed with me? Why can’t we just exist next to each other, I don’t want to be you friend anymore, but why can’t we just, I don’t know, act as if we don’t know each other?!“

Robbe’s words left Aaron and Moyo speechless, they were just standing there.

After a few minutes, Moyo spoke up, „come on, we were just joking, but yeah, you’re right. It’s not even fun anymore, you’re not even fun. Let’s just act like he doesn’t exist“ he turned to Aaron at the last sentence, who still seemed confused.

Moyo took Aaron by the hand and pushed him in front of him, to make him leave.

„That was so good man!“ Jens said to Robbe. „I know, I’m proud of myself for finally speaking up, I just hope they’ll leave me alone now…“. Jens bumped his shoulder, „I think they got it now“.

_R: I just conforted Moyo and Aaron, they just stood there, surprised, I hope it’ll work and they’ll leave me alone._

_Just wanted to tell you, because I’m proud of myself._

_S: I’m so proud of you, Robin!_

_I hope they’ll leave you alone too, but you’ve got only about half a year left anyways, so I think you can manage somehow…_

_I love you <33_

_R: love you too <3_


	7. I'm proud of us

„yeah that’s it….but you should’ve seen their faces, man. It was hilarious and Jens‘ face..“ Robbe just finished telling Sander what happened with the boys today.

„Did you just call me man? Should I be worried?“ Sander said, in a very serious tone, making Robbe giggle.

Sander’s face softened, „but yeah, I’m proud of you, I’m glad that you finally told them off“.

„How is it going with your school?“ Sander sighed, „yeah, I love it, right now we just have a lot of homework right now…it’s kinda harder, but I still like it“ Sander smiled again, but he still seemed tired.

„I’m sure you’ll do great baby….you look so tired, maybe you should take a nap?“ Robbe suggested, he didn’t want to push Sander, he didn’t want to seem like he’s controling him or anything, he was just worried.

„I haven’t been sleeping well, actually….I haven’t been sleeping at all, I just can’t, I’m trying so hard okay, but I can’t fall asleep“ a tear rolled down Sander’s face now, Robbe knew how frustrated Sander always was when he couldn’t sleep.

They spent a lot of days like that, with Robbe just holding Sander while he was sleeping the whole day.

„What if you just went to sleep now, I can tell you something or just be here with you..“.

„But I have the homeworks to do, Robbe! I can’t just go to sleep now!“ Sander screamed.

„Hey, chill, I’m sure you can do it tomorrow, okay? You can ask somebody to help you. Just try to calm down, it’s gonna be okay“ it was hard for Robbe to calm him down through the screen.

„Okay, now lie down and close your eyes, okay? I’ll be here the whole time“ Sander wanted to protest, but at the end did what Robbe told him.

Robbe was telling Sander about his day, besides what happened with the boys and Sander fell asleep almost immediately.

He decided that it’d be a good idea to ask Britt if she could help him, knowing that Sander probably wouldn’t ask himself.

_R: Hey, I’m sorry for bothering, it’s just that Sander has a lot of work for school and he didn’t sleep well these past days, so I wanted to asky ou if it would be possible for you to help him a little bit?_

_B: Hi, yeah, I’ve noticed that something isn’t right with him, but he didn’t want to tell me, he always brushed it off._

_I’ll offer him my help, I hope he’ll let me…_

_R: Thank you, I talked to him about it and he said that he’ll ask somebody, so I hope he’ll let you.._

_B: I’ll bring it up somehow, try to not be too suspicious :))_

_R: Okay, thanks again_

_B: No problem!_

-

Robbe was sitting in his class again, he knew it was important and that he needed it for his graduation, but he couldn’t concentrate, he just wanted to go home if he was being honest.

Today had started really good though, when he came to school, he met Moyo and was expecting some comment again, but was surprised when Moyo just gave him a small smile and a nod and kept on walking. Zoë was with him at that time and she seemed surprised too.

Then he got a text from Britt, saying that she asked Sander if he wanted help with the homework and he gladly said yes. He was happy that Sander was finally letting people get close to him and not pushing them away when he needed help.

„Dude, can you pay attention at least once?“ Jens whicpered to him, making Robbe giggle, „sorry, what are we doing?“.

-

They had a 5 minutes break now, because according to the teacher they looked ‚exhausted‘ which Robbe definitely was. He and Zoë started learning together yesterday and it was nice to have somebody to learn with, but it was exhausting anyways.

His phone lit up, so he quickly picked it up.

_S: thanks for asking Britt for help, we’ve worked on it for a few hours already and we’re done <3_

_Idk what i’d do without you_

_R: how do you know I asked her?_

_S: it was kinda clear, how could she know otherwise?_

_R: she said that she’s gonna ask you in a way that you won’t know I said anything :((_

_S: well, she’s a bad actress then :DD_

_R: :((_

_are you mad at me?_

_S: no, thank you for you help, without you I wouldn’t ask anybody.._

_I love you <33_

_R: I love you more <3_

_Gotta go now :((_

-

„I can’t believe how fast time flies, i mean, the start of school was literally yesterday, but now tomorrow it’s Christmas, that’s so crazy!“ Robbe said.

He and Sander were lying in bed, Sander arrived yesterday in the afternoon and Robbe has never been happier.

They had a little flatshare Christmas Eve tonight, because they’re all gonna spend Christmas with their families.

Robbe was so glad for his newfound family. They had so much fun, they watched some movie first, then ate diner all together and then gave each other presents.

Sander gave Robbe a calendar with photos of them together, „this is for the next half a year when we’re not together, so you don’t miss me that much“ he said.

Robbe was so emotional, „that must’ve been so expensive!“ he leaned up to kiss Sander and had to hold back his tears.

„It wasn’t and besides, nothing’s too expensive for you“.

Robbe gave Sander an album by David Bowie he’s wanted for such a lond time and some t-shirts from his merch. Sander seemed happy with it.

„My biggest present is you, Robin“ he whispered into his ear later.

„Yeah, it’s so crazy…“ Sander smiled and leaned in to kiss Robbe.

„I can’t wait for our new life in London“ Sander said, „yeah, me neither, it’s gonna be so cool“.

Robbe leaned to kiss Sander again and they were kissing and cuddling until they fell asleep.

-

They had a party to celebrate the New Year at the flatshare now. Robbe was in the kitchen with Yasmina, making some drinks for the others.

„You seem a lot happier…“ Yasmina spoke up, „I’m glad that everything’s okay with you and Sander“ she smiled at him and Robbe smiled back, „me too….I’m so grateful for how things are going right now, honestly I couldn’t be happier“ Yasmina opened her arms, silently asking for a hug, which Robbe was happy to give her.

„So much love here“ Sander said when he saw them hugging.

„Do you want something?“ Yasmina asked him playfully.

„No, I just went to check how it’s going, since we’re waiting for the drinks but they’re not coming“.

„Ha ha, maybe you should try to make them yourself?“ Yasmina said and slapped Sander’s chest to which Sander reacted with and ‚ouch‘ and dramatically put his hand over his chest.

Yasmina took the drinks and went to the living room where everybody was.

Robbe wanted to go too, but Sander pulled him into his chest and started kissing him. After a while he picked Robbe up and sat him down on the counter, never breaking the kiss, and stood in between Robbe’s legs.

Sander started kissing down Robbe’s neck, making Robbe moan, but when Robbe came back to his senses, he pulled back, „what are you doing?“ he whispered, breathless.

„Just like kissing you“ Sander whispered back, just as breathless as Robbe was.

Sander started kissing Robbe on his neck again and Robbe pulled him by his hair, „stop, there are people in the room next to us“ Sander groaned, „so what? I just want to kiss you!“ Robbe giggled and pecked him on the lips, „then wait till we’re in bed“ and that made Sander roll his eyes.

„Let’s go to the others now“.

They came back just in time for the countdown.

„3…….2……1……HAPPY NEW YEAR“ everybody screamed and Robbe turned Sander to himself and kissed him again.

Milan put the music louder and they all started dancing.

_A few months later…_

„Baby, you’ve got this, just don’t stress too much“ Sander tried to calm Robbe down, but it wasn’t helping at all.

It was the day of Robbe’s graduation today and Sander couldn’t come because he had exams himself, but at least tried to be there with Robbe over the phone.

Robbe found out just a few weeks ago that he got accepted to the university in London, he was so happy because his plans were closer and closer to becoming a reality. All he had to do now was to graduate.

When he told his mom, she was so happy for him. He asked her so many times if she was okay with it and that if she wasn’t she could just say no and he’d stay. He told her before Sander because he knew that if him mom didn’t agree and he told Sander that he isn’t going because of her, he’d try to talk to her and he didn’t want that.

„I can’t do this…I don’t remember anything Sander!!“ he almost screamed, he was so annoyed, he spent the whole night learning and he felt like he didn’t know anything.

„Did you sleep at all?“ Sander asked, „no, I needed to look at it once more“.

„You probably only overworked you brain baby….when they’ll ask you about the questions, you’ll remember everything“ Robbe could hear that Sander had that smile he loved the most, he wanted to reply to him, but the teacher just called his name, „I have to go sorry“.

„Good luck, don’t stress too much baby“ and he hung up.

-

It was late in the afternoon and Robbe, Jens and Yasmina were waiting for Zoë to come out of her last exam.

So far Jens was the only one who didn’t pass. But he seemed cool with that, saying that he’s gonna try the next time and then take a gap year.

Robbe still hasn’t texted Sander tho, he wanted to tease him for a while. His phone kept buzzing, but he was just ignoring it.

„Jeez, man, just answer him already. It’s been long enough, he’s obviously worried“ Jens said so Robbe did as he was told.

_S: is it over?_

_come on Robbe_

_it has to be over now_

_please can you let me know_

_Robbe please i’m worried_

_babyyy_

_are you trying to tease me or what_

_cause this isn’t funny you know_

_i’m actually worried_

_did you fall asleep?_

_Robbe i’m gonna kill you when i see you!_

Robbe felt srupid all of sudden, Sander was probably more nervous than he was, or at least that’s how it was for him when Sander was graduating.

_R: i’m sorry_

_I just wanted to tease you :((_

_I passed_

_I love you_

_Sander?_

_you aren’t mad right?_

_please?_

_S: i knew you’d pass!!!!!_

_I’m proud <33_

_but also angry cause you let me wait so long_

_R: i’m sorry i feel bad now_

_S: baby, i’m just teasing you….i would’ve done the same if i had the chance <333_

_I love you so much_

_are you going to celebrate?_

_R: Jens didn’t pass so probably not_

_I’m too tired anyways_

_S: not surprised, you should already be in bed_

_R: i’ll go right when i arrive home i promise_

_could we facetime tho? I wanna fall asleep in your presence_

_S: of course, let me know when you’re home <333_

_R: love you <3_

-

„So yeah, I’m proud of us all..“ Robbe told Sander about his day and about the fact that except for Jens they all graduated and are going to their dream university.

„I’m proud of you all too, I love you so much. Do you wanna go to sleep now?“ Sander laughed, he was expecting to just watch Robbe sleep, but as soon as he picked up, Robbe started telling him everything and nobody could stop him.

„Yeah, I’m actually pretty tired, but also the adrenaline, you know? It’s crazy…“ Sander laughed again at that, knowing exactly the feeling.

He remembered how it was a year ago when he graduated and how far everything has come since that. How far his and Robbe’s relationship has come.

„I wanna kiss you so bad…“ Robbe whined, pulling Sander out of his thoughts.

„I wanna kiss you too, so so bad…it’s almost here okay?“ Robbe smiled and nodded, „I know. I’m proud of us, for still being together“ he said, but after that he yawned and closed his eyes.

He could swear that he heard Sander say _I’m gonna marry you_ but it might have as well just been his dreams..


	8. Nothing is too expensive for you

_A few months later_

Robbe and Yasmina were on their plane to London now.

Yasmina decided that she wants to study at the same university as Robbe after all. She was going to study art, just like Sander. He never knew that she was interested in art, nor that she applied for this school, he found out only a few weeks ago when she told him that she has a surprise for him and showed him her plane tickets. He was happy that he has a friend coming with him, even though he has Sander there, he needs to talk to somebody else once a while.

Sander was already in London, he flied there a week ago because he needed to be there earlier for some project they were doing with Britt for the start of school year. Robbe was also excited to meet Britt, over the year they got really close and he found out that she’s a great person.

And also that his worries were just nonsense, because Britt is a lesbian and has a girlfriend. He felt even more embarassed, but it’s all done now. It’s the new chapter from now on.

He’s looking out of the plane’s window and remembers how great summer holidays he and Sander had.

They went swimming together so many times, to the pool where they kissed for the first time. How they spent time with their moms, who got along so well and accepted their relationship so well. How they spent time with Yasmina, Jens, Zoë, Senne and Milan. How they started talking with Moyo and Aaron again, who apologized for their acting. It wasn’t like it was before between them, it would probably never be, but it was something and he was grateful for that too. How grateful he was for everybody he had around himself. How grateful he was for Sander for showing him what true love feels like. He really had the best life, he never even thought about having such a beautiful life.

-

It was the first school week and Sander was coming home very late everyday. Robbe asked him if something was wrong, but Sander just brushed it off and changed the subject. Robbe was worried, not even a year ago he would be worried that there was somebody else, but now he knew better. He was worried that Sander might be sick or something and didn’t want to tell him. Robbe really didn’t want to push Sander into telling him, but he was getting impatient.

They were sitting on a sofa in an apartment they rented together for this school year. They were watching some comedy, but neither of them rreally payed attention. Sander was on his phone the whole time and Robbe was watching him, trying to figure out what changed.

„Do you have time tomorrow?“ Sander asked out of sudden, turning around and realizing that Robbe’s been staring at him the whole time. He smirked at that, making Robbe turn away and blush.

„I’m always free, why?“ Robbe answered his question.

„You’ll see tomorrow. Meet me here after school then?“ Sander turned to him and had a smile on his face, as if he was trying not to be too obvious so Robbe just nodded.

-

Robbe was on his was home, he was really interested in whatever Sander has in plan tonight and he hoped that he’d finally find out why he’s been acting so weird lately.

When he finally got home, Sander wasn’t there and Robbe just wanted to cry. Was he too soon? Was he really walking so fast that he’s home sooner than Sander? Did something happen to Sander? He tried to call him, but heard the phone. But Sander had it at school today, they texted.

He went to check the phone. He unlocked it and there was a short message, _„meet me…“_ and adress. He really didn’t know London that well, so he put the adress in his navigation and went to the adress.

It was already getting dark when he was going through the streets and he was kinda worried. He kept going around those little candles on the street, he didn’t know if that was normal in London but he‘s never noticed before.

When he finally arrived at the adress, he just stood there. It was a beautiful building painted in soft pink and outside there were so many of those candles he was going around, so he was probably there.

He went in and still couldn’t believe how beautiful the place was. The stairs were probably the best from it all. There was a small note again, _4th floor_ it said. Robbe didn’t know how he deserved this, but he was exctied for what Sander has in plan.

When he walked up to the 4th floor, there was an opened door, so he went in.

In the corridor he could see small drawings of his face, or him with Sander. He was looking at them and didn’t even notice Sander standing in front of him, so he got scared when he looked in front of him.

„You scared me!“ he yelled and Sander laughed, „sorry, do you like the drawings?“ Robbe went in and kissed Sander, „of course I do, but how did I deserve this?“ Sander pouted his lips, „you’re gonna have to wait for your answer for a while“.

Sander sticked out his other hand that was hidden behind his back and was holding flowers and gave them to Robbe, who was getting emotional.

„No crying yet, Robin! We have a lot more things to do tonight“ Sander joked and hugged Robbe.

Sander took Robbe’s hand and led him into the room. In the middle there was a big table with a lots of food, candles all around the table and Champagne.

„Are you serious? This must’ve been so expensive, you shouldn’t have done that…“ Robbe said emotionally.

„I already told you that nothing is too expensive for you“ Sander said, pulling one of the chairs and gesturing Robbe to sit down.

-

They’ve just eaten their dinner and Robbe was still wondering what was happening.

„How did I deserve this?“ he asked Sander and Sander chuckled, „you’re so impatient god! But okay, maybe because you’re an amazing boyfriend and I wanted to do something nice for you“.

Robbe chuckled, „you do something nice for me all the time…“ but Sander didn’t let him speak, „there’s a nice balcony with an amazing view I want to show you, walk with me“.

He took Robbe’s hand and they walked to the balcony together. Robbe couldn’t believe his eyes, the view was really was beautiful, he’s probably never seen anything like that before. But what he didn’t expect was that when he’ll turn around he’ll find out a kneeling Sander beside him with a small box in his hands.

Robbe covered his mouth, tears beginning to form in his eyes as Sander spoke up.

„Robbe Ijzermans, every since I met you, I haven’t been able to think about anything else than you. You’re on my mind every single second of every single day. I can’t believe I got so lucky to call you mine. You taught me what love feels like, you’ve never judged me, you’ve always supported me in my crazy ideas and you’ve always been here for me when I was at my lowest. I cannot imagine my life without you, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. So that’s why today I’m here asking you: will you marry me?“

Robbe was full on sobbing now, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t concentrate. He didn’t know for how long he’s been standing there like that, but it had to be long, because Sander got impatient, stood up, cupped his face in his eyes and asked him again. Robbe knew that he had to answer, so he took all the power he had in himself and choked out a yes.

Sander’s whole face light up at that, as he took Robbe’s shaking hand in his and put the ring on his finger.

Robbe was so shocked, „wow, I really didn’t expect this“ he laughed and Sander did too.

„I’ve known since the beginning that I’m gonna marry you one day“ he smiled.

„Same for me, I just didn’t expect it so soon“ Robbe said, still out of breath from all the crying, „I should’ve expected something when I think about all the hints you gave me though“ he laughed at himself.

He was so dumb for not noticing. He was so worried that maybe something’s wrong with Sander that he didn’t even think about this.

„Did you put this together by yourself?“ Robbe asked when he calmed down a little.

„No, Britt helped me. It took a while to put all the drawings together and plan it all. I’m glad I had help“ Robbe smiled.

Sander took a step forward and finally crashed their lips together. They kissed for hours, happy to have each other and after some time they went to bed.

-

Robbe woke up to sun shining through the window and smiled when he felt arms around him and the familiar warmth. He turned around to be able to see Sander, only to find him already staring at Robbe.

„Well good morning, sleepy head“ he spoke up and Robbe giggled.

„Did I sleep for so long?“ he asked, his voice still harsh from sleeping.

„It’s almost noon“ Sander said.

„Hmmmm, I don’t care as long as I have my _fiancé_ next to me, I don’t care“ Robbe mumbled.

„Me neither. But I prepared breakfast for you“ Robbe looked up, „you did what?“.

Sander got out of bed, still naked from the night and took the tray with plates, juice and some fruit on it and gave it to Robbe.

„Croques?“ Robbe grinned and Sander just nodded, so Robbe started eating.

-

They were sitting on the balcony now, enjoying each other as much as they could before they went back to reality.

„I should really text my friends and mom about this“ Robbe spoke up, „Your mom already knows, I asked her“ Sander chuckled, making Robbe turn to him.

„What?“ Robbe was so confused, was he the last one to find out or what?

„Yeah, you do that you know, ask your partner’s parents before you ask them“ Sander explained and Robbe chuckled, „okay, I’ll at least text my friends".

_R: <sent a photo>_

_Y: is that what i think it is?? :O_

_Z: omg Robbe!!!!_

_R: yes, I have a fiancé_ _😊_

_J: omg that’s so cool!_

_Y: congrats!!!_

_Z: so so happy for you! you deserve it so much <3_

_R: thank you guys <33_

_now if you excuse me i’m gonna go back to my fiancé :))_

Robbe showed Sander the messages and they laughed about it together, happy to have each other. Robbe has never thought that there was somebody like Sander waiting for him in life. He’s never thought he would be happy, only thinking about hiding who he really is. But then this blonde came into his life and turned it upside down. And even though he lost some people in the process, he would never change it for anything, because he found the love of his life. He was the happiest person on Earth now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've reached the end of this fic. I wanna thank you all for reading it, for your kudos and comments, it really means a lot and seeing that you liked it really motivated me.  
> I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as i did enjoy writing it.  
> If you by any miracle want to see more of my work, you can follow me on twitter (@ drijzermansrs), i have posted some social media aus there, it's in my pinned tweet, and i'm planning to start posting another one soon.  
> Anyways, thank you all for reading and have a nice day. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it means the world to me!


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